This is me ... in night vision ... :o) ...
I'm very rarely awake at 1am so when I was, last Friday night, I thought it would be a good time to try out episode #2 of the reverse interview. Last week I came up with this plan that I would carry a camera around with me and begin to ask the people around me to point it at me and ask me stuff about my PhD. Anything, UB, Flow, PhD experience ... whatever. Kind of like a reverse interview. Why? Well, we all know we're different with different people and I find myself giving different answers to the same questions, sometimes I'm quite articulate but most of the time incoherent. I guess a useful bi-product of this exercise is that I should start to become more articulate after all this practice of answering these same questions.
The first episode was recorded with Mike which I found quite difficult and then could barely watch it back at all. See the April 27 entry for a reflection on that. Episode#2 was recorded last Friday night with my fellow Wii-Nighters, Tom & Brad. We recorded for about 50 minutes and I totally forgot about the camera and the three of us just talked all things PhD.
As I've begun capturing and watching back both these interviews something strange is beginning to happen. I've gone from not being able to watch myself on camera to being quite interested in watching this 'new' person and hearing what she has to say. It really is like the myth of Narcissus, seeing his reflection in the pond! :o/ ... Not that I've fallen in love with myself! I know I'm gonna be made to regret writing that ... aren't I? For your information, wikipedia ... the almighty oracle that it is ... tells me healthy narcissism is a good thing.
Anyway, some kind of separation or objectification is beginning to occur. As I watch I'm not really thinking, 'that's me' anymore. That is exactly what I wanted to happen. Awesome!
ANOTHER interesting observation has arisen. Different people find different aspects of this documentary interesting. I talked to someone yesterday and I told them about flow and my reflections on the UB but it wasn't until I got to the bit about the journey of the 16mm film in time and space that their eyes lit up with interest! So this reconfirms that everyone is engaged differently into the documentary, story experience. For some, history does it, others it is the psychological aspect, others like to see the human experience. A good signpost reminder for me that all those parts should remain in my doco. I'd nearly discarded the 'journey of the 16mm' angle but I need to try to remember the parts that I found interesting initially coz if I found them interesting then chances are that someone else out there will find them interesting.
Re your last comments MC - I keep hearing these same words echoing all around me which is great, they serve as welcome reminders to let go of what is known and safe. We're taught to live in what is known and what is safe. Rules, regulations and expectations are our security blankets. "play until you're 10 and then stop playing forever". I thank you and everything that keeps reminding me to play on the other side of what is known. It's gonna take some practice but one day I might even remember it for myself!
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Reading your latest Blog helped me to see that doing a PhD, [Personal history Drama ;)] as you're obviously doing, or any further education or in-depth study for that matter, can be and really ought to be, a personally transforming experience - one that enhances one's perspective and view of Life and of understanding one's Self. It's exciting because your work (not just YOU) are a process in evolution - a phrase that's become increasingly common and every-day as we journey into the 21st century.
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